Thursday, March 11, 2010

The A to Z of our World

: AS. The big boss and it is fitting that this chronicle begin with his name. The head and the dictator of our lives. No one has evoked so much fear in the heads of all the young vulnerable minds (since the witch from Makdee) as much as He has. Logical, efficient, ruthless and sarcastic but most importantly knows his job and does it realy well. However one fact remains. Love him, hate him. Respect him, dont respect him. There is simply no escaping him. A small snippet from an average AS lecture : “You will count the exact number of shots in this feature film. Not one more, not one less. And if you do so correctly, there is a prize for you. You will get to survive. ”

: Back Logs. Another word that strikes something close to fear. A back log is something that one gets on failing a test ...or a module .... or an exam?? Actualy, no one has quite understood the grading system, so no one realy knows. Besides, most media trainees suck at maths anyways, so it is a delight watching them grapple with things like percentages, percentiles, proportional grading & the academic co-ordinator to no avail. So how many people in the batch have actualy gotten a confirmed back log so far? 0.

: Comp Lab. There is nothing that could attract a bunch of students like free internet and the computer lab is no exception. It is the place where you get google and therefore the place where assignments are started, finished, printed and immediately submitted (0.75 seconds before the deadline ). Post 5.30pm even facebook and youtube join the party and no one in their right minds could do anything else if they happen to be present in the lab. It is also a known discussion forum for all the latest happenings in college.

: Dionysia. The annual theatre festival of the college, it is one event that everyone realy looks forward for. Probably because it is the biggest UG intiative (so far); probably because it one show for which the whole institute puts is expected to put its best foot forward, probably because theatre is something that interests most people in some form & capacity or the other; or maybe simply for the love of theatre. So is it happening this year? Hell Yeah it is! Thus in the words of Shakespeare and a few other wise men :
“All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.”

: Elevator. Known in common terms as the ‘lift’. Generaly used to transport people to upper levels in a multi-storied structures. Besidesd this, it is used for several other purposes in college like giving free massages, shock therapy and for teaching team work, negotiation, diplomacy and tolerance to the most disasterous sights, smells and sounds.

: Faasos, footpath. The unofficial ‘chilling-out’ zone. As the sun sets and the campus begins to empty, faasos and the footpath wake up to life. The careless laughter of youth fills the (often smoky) air as people unwind and the troubles of the day are momentarily forgotten. And for those moments people actualy talk their heart out (i.e. bitch).

: Gossip. What do you get when you put together a huge number of just- gettin-outta-teenage-years media trainees within an area of a few kilometres around their campus? Gossip. Lots of it. Some of it totaly hilarious, some of it extremly vicious. Link-ups, break-ups, patch-ups, scandals and controversies.... Its all there. However, being fair, gossip is an integral part of any and every college, infact of every organisation. And I dont see why should anyone bother too much about it.

: Hostels. “There are two reasons because of which the lives of boys in college get screwed. One is MHADA hostel and the other is Sakore Nagar Hostel.” - Ancient Proverb. The North pole and South pole of the SIMC world, the girls’ hostels dictate how fast the winds will blow and how hot the currents will flow on campus. Which hostel you stay in or owe allegiance to could determine anything ranging from where you sit in the class to where you have food in the mess. The latest news, gossip, rumours, politics, bitching, and backstabing are said to originate here in majority circumstances. I sincerly hope that the person who called women the fairer sex does not visit these places though Machiavelli would definetly have picked up a trick or two. p.s: Now im tempted to write a seperate piece on this. :P Oh btw, there is a boys hostel as well, but no one gives a shit about that. :P :P

: Indigestion. The mess effect. Being fair, for a mess there is a decent variety of food like Pav Bhaji, Chaat, Kadhi-Khichdi, Paranthas, Macroni(yeah right!), Chinese etc besides the regular stuff. The food there is usualy pretty ok and harmless. But sometimes...... ouch! Well atleast, we havent had a Hinjewadi here (yet).

: Jokes. Jokes are the balm for the soul in the hell-hole that Viman Nagar can be. Fortunately, they can be found in abundance around as can the jokers. And that to, jokes of all types and genres : lame, cheap, vulgar, goofy, slapstick, witty, situational and more. When all those minds with excessive creativity come (and ready willingness to plagerise) together, new levels of humour are achieved. Ultimately, “A day without humour is a day wasted.”

: Kadki. For those who are unaware, “kadki” is the Mumbai word for an empty wallet, that phenomenon around which the whole economy of Viman Nagar revolves. It is only after coming here that one realises the importance of the 1st of every month as our wallets feel like a parched traveler does after reaching a lake.

: Laptops. Everyone has one (Except Jay aka JD. He has a PC and a laptop). And it is every individuals pride. The laptops are storehouses of all kinds of programs, softwares, media and devices. No code is too hard to crack, no password is too hard to track. The amount of data that is shared and passed around is jaw-dropping. People can be found in every place imaginable with their eyes glued onto the laptop screen.

: Mercury. The only serious threat to the bussiness of Faasos and Hira, it is the new hangout place on the blocks which is suited convieniently close to the Sakore girls hostel. But more importantly, it proves a fact that to have a successful place around here, all you need is a few chairs, a couple of tables, a roof overhead, no no-smoking rule, a well-stocked fridge and tea & coffee service.

: Night Outs. Dont be ridiculous, you know what that means! Why would you want me to write about it on the net for public reading?

: Overhead Projectors. The unsung heroes of the college. Imagine a classroom or even a module without one. Presentations, screenings, showcase..... we need a projector for everything. Over time, they have developed interesting pecularities like blue lines, red lines, green tinge etc. But all in all, the classroom systems is something the college definetly hasnt compromised on.

: Panchgani. One of the most memorable times in the life of any student at SIMC. Panchgani is home to Asia Plateau, the picturesque centre of the Modern Re-armament Army (MRA). It is here that the first year students go for their first ever college “study tour”. And it is here that we grow up. It is here that we realise that our batch is our family away from family and that college is a home away from home. But then we get back to Pune and return to our routine ways. And though we all love to pretend as if nothing changed, deep inside you know that you have seen a change. Just a tiny bit, but still a change. Oh, and its not just me saying that. My inner voice agrees as well ;)

: QRT. The Quick Response Team of the Pune Police are the de-facto law enforcers of Viman Nagar. Everyone can identify those rickety jeeps that roar about all the time. They share a mutual love-hate relationship with the students. In any case, knowing the sub-inspectors and having their numbers is a status symbol of power here.

: Rohan Thakur. “Aaaawwwww!” “He is SO hot!!!!!!” “He is so many classes apart” “He is SO cool” “10 on 10” Needless to say, the heart-throb. Who never comes to college. In the words of Amit Upadhyay, “Woh Id ke chand ki tarah ladkiyon ko apna mooh dikhake chale jaate hain.” [Translation (for Anisha’s sake) : He comes (like the moon on Id), Is Seen, Conquers and then disappears for several weeks.]

: Screenings. The one module that realy sets us apart. Which other college shows around 6-7 movies/serials/documentaries a week? And that too as a part of the academic curriculum? And the selection is realy brilliant though we are not intelligent enough to comprehend or even sit thorugh a few of those movies. My picks so far would be : Lenny, Paths of Glory, One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest, The Rope, Bandit Queen, Suraj ka Saatva Ghoda, Planet Earth and I Love Lucy.

: TNG. Term Not Granted. This is what you end up with if you do not have sufficient attendence. And therefore, it is something dangles hangs over everybodys heads like a sword from a thin thread. Just like everyone struggles to calculate their academic scores, they struggle to calculate the attendence. Again, it is a joy watching people turn blue trying to add, subtract and multiply percentages just to disprove the latest updated attendence.

: Unity. According to Wikipedia, “Unity is defined as the state of being undivided or unbroken completeness or totality with nothing wanting.” Huh? Wha-? How the hell did that word get here??? Ooooops sorry! I wasnt in an appropriate state of mind when I wrote that. :P However, know this. One day, dont know how far into the future, but definetly one day, this word wont appear as riddiculous in this list as it does today. With all seriousness, I await that day.

: Viman Nagar. The address in Pune. And once the city finds out that you are a student from Viman Nagar it stamps you as a rich, spoilt brat. If you dont bargain hard with the the auto-wallahs you will be stripped naked before you know it. The place itself is a non-descript place near Pune’s Lohegaon Airport, which has seen a spurt of development thanks to the IT and Education industry. Today it has its own reliance fresh, Natural’s, Smokin’ Joes, several banks and even more eateries of various sizes, costs and cuisines. However, all the glitz in the world cant take away that feeling of a ghost town, of being an artificial substitute for home....

: Warning Letters. The college’s equivalent of football’s yellow card. Anyone who violates any of the clauses of the Aide-Memoire (the ad-hoc constitution of college) is awarded a warning letter. You get your third warning letter and you are out of college. As simple as that. However, you fear that most which happens the least. A few over-zealous moments have led to warning letters being sprayed out like a geyser, which has kind of taken away the fear that they evoked and has given way to many colourful jokes about them. Suspension is fast replacing warning letters as the new form of emotional expression.

: X-rated stuff. God bless the digital world! People have it in mbs and gbs. Lots of it. Collections, databases, downloads, cds, dvds, clips, movies, programs etc. And..... well I could have said more but then, I dont want my blah blah-ed. ;)

: Yawn! Omg!! Heavy lecture....! Eye lids get heavy, the head starts drooping and the body starts sliding down the chair. In the morning cause its the, well morning and in the afternoons cause its post-lunch. It is never too early or never too late for a loud, obnoxious and extremly contagious YAWN!!!!!!!

: Zzzzzzzzz! And finaly, like day follows night so does sleep follow the legendary yawns. College has instilled the remarkable skill in people of being able to fall asleep in various positions in any location at anytime whatsoever, irrespective of what is going on around at that time.

And sleep beings the topic to a very interesting point. Though we spend lot of our concious time here wishing we were back home; several times when Im sleeping at home now, a very weird thing happens. I get transported. Back to Pune, back to Viman Nagar, back to the world of SIMC. To the campus and the people. Those familiar sights and sounds. That laughter. Those ambitions. And how much ever I try to deny it or ignore it, the truth remains. That now we live here, in this world. Our world.

- Neil Chitnis


  1. u dnt write often.....a bad thing!
    wat u write creates a superb impact...the good thing!!! :D
    brilliant mr.chitnis! :D :D

  2. Awesome stuff!! :D
    Keep giving us more. :)

  3. Tell you what...
    Make a pocket book and please sell it in SIMC!
    You'll earn Am not kidding you!


    'Nesta of Dummies'
    'Neil and the One Liners!'


    ==>Chitnis's POV<==


  4. Whatte piece :D....BRILLIANT Chitnis.

  5. height of ossumness!
    ausmnly amazing dude!!!
    like wow...

  6. R
    : Rohan Thakur. “Aaaawwwww!” “He is SO hot!!!!!!” “He is so many classes apart” “He is SO cool” “10 on 10” Needless to say, the heart-throb. Who never comes to college. In the words of Amit Upadhyay, “Woh Id ke chand ki tarah ladkiyon ko apna mooh dikhake chale jaate hain.” [Translation (for Anisha’s sake) : He comes (like the moon on Id), Is Seen, Conquers and then disappears for several weeks.]





    MY FAV!

  7. good one dude, but you got the spelling of my name wrong!!!

  8. lol, thanks everyone for the amazing response!!!
    @ Devang, Neeti, Adi, i have been planning to write more often but blame procrastination, not me.
    @ Amit, apologies! par naam toh liya!

  9. mind blowing .... this os awesum !!! <3 !

  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

  11. Agrees with Aditya and tejaswini!!
    n d bit abt mhada n sakore - HILARIOUS!!
    WHY d hell dnt u write more oftn - n sell it, ur purse wnt be kadki or whtver thn!!!

    n hw com u didnt mention nethn abt PR strategies??? :P

    loved especially d unity bit, panchgani n the ending....

    (grt - nw we've gone n ballooned his already big head)